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The Reflected Best Self Exercise (RBSE) is another exercise I am fond of that is based in positive psychology, coming from the University of Michigan. It is something that can have an impact in the moment and be saved and revisited in the future. 

The RBSE is designed to show examples of times when someone has been at their best. The way it works is you, the client, asks a range of people, it can be anywhere from 5-20, to provide a story of a time they have seen you at their best. These stories can be short – a few sentences or a couple of paragraphs – and can come from people in different parts of your life: family, friends, co-workers, peers, or anyone else. In addition, you will write three reflections about situations when you are at your best or specific moments you have been so. Once you have finished these reflections and I have received the stories about you, I put together a “report” with all of the powerful, best-self stories. 

This exercise is useful in a number of circumstances. If someone is struggling with self-confidence, it can clearly help by reminding them of times they have been at their best. In addition, for those that are struggling to realize how they’re impacting others, the stories from all the different people and moments demonstrate how the client has positively impacted all of them in a variety of ways. One other reason to use the RBSE is to illuminate the skills and ways someone impacts others when they are at their best so they can better recognize what their strengths are. For any of the use cases, the advantage of this exercise is the report provides something to keep as a motivational reference. 

Like any exercise, there are some limitations and critiques. One limitation is the success of this exercise depends partly on the person being willing and able to source stories from people in multiple spheres of their network and life. This also applies to the fact that the results are dependent on people outside the coaching relationship responding to the request. A critique I have of the RBSE is that the stories can be very broad, so it can be tough at times to highlight specific, recurring themes or skills if there are not enough responses. In addition, if someone is working on skills or confidence for a specified role or moment in their life, the stories provided may make them feel good but not address what is being worked on. 

The RBSE is an exercise backed by research that can help people see who they are at their best. It can be used by anyone from a top-level leader to entry-level employees and anyone in between and saved as a resource to remind a person when they are in need of a boost. 

If you have any questions about the RBSE, check out https://reflectedbestselfexercise.com/, which is the information site hosted by University of Michigan’s Center for Positive Organizations. For reference, you can pay to set up and execute the RBSE through this website.

References:

Cox, E., Bachkirova, T., & Clutterbuck, D. (2018). The Positive Psychology Approach to Coaching. In The Complete Handbook of Coaching (pp. 153–166). essay, Sage.

Who are you at your best? Reflected Best Self Exercise™. (n.d.). Retrieved January 16, 2023, from https://reflectedbestselfexercise.com/